“I don’t have any friends and I’m depressed” 5 reasons why and what to do

If you’re feeling like you’re depressed get some help! 

Call someone or find a professional to talk to.

There are plenty of moments when all of a sudden your social skills feel diminished and you think you have no friends. Maybe you’re just in a funk and your social interactions are just a bit awkward, which can be exhausting.

The overwhelming feelings might cause confusion, sadness, stress, embarrassment, and depression.

But this happens to a lot of people and there are solutions. What you need to do is be aware of the “Why is this happening right now” and feel better as soon as you can. 

We created this post about why you might be feeling depressed and no one around you is a friend. Maybe socializing was once easy and fun, but it’s turned into an awkward mess.

Below, we have 5 reasons why you might be saying, “I don’t have any friends and I’m depressed”. We want to talk more about the solutions and how you can improve.

Lightening the Load: Understanding Depression

Depression is like carrying an invisible weight around with you, all day, every day. It’s more than just feeling sad; it’s like a deep blue hue is cast over your life’s experiences, dimming the brightness of happy colors. It can drain your energy, make it hard to get out of bed, and even turn eating or talking to a friend into a daunting task.

Remember, it’s not a sign of weakness, and it’s not something you can just snap out of by ‘cheering up’ or ‘being positive.’

Depression can make you feel alone, but many people understand and want to help. Taking small steps, like reaching out to someone for a chat, getting a bit of exercise, or setting one manageable goal each day, can be a start. Professional support, like therapy and sometimes medication, can also make a big difference.

Remember, asking for help is a brave step towards feeling better, and it’s okay to take that step when you’re ready.

1. Change in life can cause depression and loneliness  

One of the main reasons you might feel depressed and “don’t have friends” is that you’ve changed socially, emotionally, or even physically. The changes in your life might be happening now or have happened in the past and are affecting your everyday life.

The changes can even cause you to feel distant from current friends or because you’ve changed for the better, you hate your social circle. 

A lot of big changes have happened in society in the past few years and they will continue to, which can cause you to feel overwhelming emotions you haven’t felt before. Or keep you in a constant state of an emotional whirlwind, making you feel overly anxious at social events, at work, or even by yourself. 

People change, even our personalities change and so do our social habits. If you want to know how to start a conversation, check out our full article here.

If you’re not to going to social events, or you had a recent breakup, job change, or you moved to a new city, socializing can get difficult. Depression can set in and you’ll feel like you’re all alone. You might not even know where to start and you’ll say, “I used to be social now I’m awkward.” Or, “I don’t have any friends and I’m depressed”.

Recent changes can cause you to revert socially or forget how to socialize. It’s normal to feel hesitant about new friendships or question the choices you’ve made in your life.

But, we think it’s important to challenge your thoughts and talk to new people, a therapist, and focus on how to manage your life. 

2. If you’re an introvert, sometimes it’s not fun

A few signs you’re an introvert:

• Enjoying time alone
• Steering clear of others
• Not being able to explain your thoughts clearly
• Enjoying low key social events

The above points may indicate you’re an introvert. However, you might feel like you want to make new friends and don’t know-how. This can make you feel depressed and without any friends. 

However, you can find friends as an introvert, you just have to know where. If just might like more “laid back” things to do on the weekend, like watching a movie at home, reading a book, or hanging out just with one friend, there’s a good chance you’re an introvert.

If you’d like to know more about how to make more friends check out our post on how to get better at socializing.

Lastly, be aware of the above points which indicate you’re an introvert because it can also mean, social anxiety, especially you’ve had panic attacks or fearful thoughts. A lot of people also struggle to put their thoughts into words and feel stuck. We talk more about this below.

#3. Anxiety might be making you feel depressed

If you have anxiety, we think this could be causing you to feel crippled when trying to socialize. This can be very difficult to deal with on your own. Check out how you can help yourself here or talk to a professional. 

Some people who have serious anxiety may feel afraid to leave the house, which means they wouldn’t be able to have much of a social life. If this is you, get some help! 

Also, anxiety can cause a high amount of worry, which can affect a person’s self-esteem, causing a lack of confidence, and leading to fewer friends. 

Also, any criticism from someone, it causes you to withdraw, pushing you into an antisocial spiral. Don’t let this happen! Fight against these feelings. 

Here are some tools you can use to feel better. 

Lastly, maybe you’re feeling burnt out or bored of socializing. Some people even feel like they hate being social. Read our post about it here. 

4. Your social skills aren’t working and you need help

If you’ve been out trying to make new friends, you’re meeting co-workers or you’ve moved to a new city and you’re feeling awkward, then maybe the social strategies you’re using don’t work.

As we reach different parts of our life our scenes will change. Also, how people want to interact with each other also changes.

Maybe the type of conversation you’re interested in isn’t with the people you’ve always socialized with. Or, you’ve never had small talk before or it’s challenging to start a conversation because you grew up with the people you’ve always hung out with.

This is all normal and something you can easily get better at.

You can sign up for our free tool kit here and get strategies and plenty of examples. Check it out.

Lastly, one of the things that can shift your social life is where you do it.

A lot of people are networking or trying to find friends in the wrong places. Check out more tips here on what you can do to meet people.

5. You haven’t found the right friends yet

Science of People says, “The more commonalities you have, the more relevant someone is to you. In a great relationship, the circles move closer together.” Image by Science of People.

There are a few things you might be feeling.

You’re either feeling like you haven’t found the right people to hang out with or it’s the opposite like you don’t have any friends and you feel depressed. 

If you haven’t met people you click with yet, that’s ok. You’ll make it happen if you’re consistent. One of the things you can do is find an activity you like and consistently go to that event. In time, you’ll meet people you’re compatible with. 

However, if you hate the people you’re around, you’ll continue to be depressed and feel lonely. It’s probably a good time to break up with those people. Friend breakups are more common than you think.

A few signs you need new friends:

• You always feel bad about yourself
• The effort is one-sided
• They’re always negative
• You’re never sure where you stand

For more ideas on how to meet people without it being awkward, check out our post here. 

What else is being said about depression and friendship

Harvard’s Healing Wisdom: Navigating Depression

Harvard Health reveals that depression’s onset goes deeper than brain chemistry alone. It’s a complex interplay of genetics, life experiences, and personal circumstances.

Additional Resources to learn about depression from Harvard experts:

How does Harvard define depression

In-depth look at what causes depression

What you can do right now?

If you feel like your social skills keep getting worse, talk to a close friend or a professional counselor about the feelings you have.

Or, you can prepare more when you go out to socialize. Joining our community and Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social toolkit, and more)

We think if you join our community, or just read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “I hate socializing”. But you’ll feel more confident and know what to say.

We hope after reading this post you feel more aware of why you think, “I don’t have any friends and I’m depressed”. 

You got this!