“My social skills keep getting worse!”
Do you feel your social skills getting worse?
Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve socialized and you went out with friends and in the middle of a conversation and it just gets awkward. You’re asking yourself, “why are my social skills getting worse?”
Maybe there is a slight decline in how you talk to people or you just need to shake off some rust.
Whatever it is, we think there are 5 reasons. Let’s go!
#1 You don’t know where to start with conversations
Starting a conversation can be the hardest part of a conversation. But once you get it going, and get the experience of seeing what works, you’ll feel more confident. Conversations will start to become less stressful.
So, what’s a quick tip you can use tonight when you’re heading out with friends? Well, try starting with a conversation starter.
Think of the conversation starter as a prompt or a statement to begin a discussion. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something really unique but enough to ignite an interest to move the exchange between you and another person forward.
Here are some examples:
“This is a great playlist that’s playing. I really like it. What do you think?”
“Oh, wow. This coffee is great. I love coming here.”
These are two examples that ignite a conversation or just prompt a moment for you to introduce yourself. Follow these with, “Hey, I’m John…” or “How’s your coffee?”
In our conversation course, Next Level Conversation, you get the Ultimate Conversation Starter Guide. We go over many different scenarios, categories and offer you dozens of examples. This gives you ideas and good openers to use at your next social event. Learn more here.
#2. It’s your confidence not your social skills
There’s a good chance you need to improve your confidence and you’re being to hard on yourself.
If you read the above, we gave you two conversation openers above that do take a good amount of confidence to say. If you feel like your social skills keep getting worse, maybe you need to work on developing your confidence.
Half the battle with learning and improving your conversation skills and overall communication is confidence.
Some people will even say, “as long as you say something with confidence, people will believe you.” We don’t know how true that is, but we do know it helps.
Now, this is also a part of social skills you can actually track. So, you can literally see if your social skills are getting better if you monitor your progress.
If you set goals and monitor them, you can see what you need to work on and what’s working.
Try to quantify your accomplishments: The number of positive conversations you’re having, new friends made, how much you’re exercising your social muscles.
Write down your goal because it will help you stay on course. You will build confidence once you see the progress you’re making in real-time.
Lastly, when it comes to confidence, you’ll have to stop caring about what others think. Rather, start to care about the right things that will help you improve your overall life.
#3 Learning the right social skills makes a dramatic difference
Have you ever made food and kind of knew the recipe? Most likely, the food came out ok and it was eatable. However, it wasn’t as good as it could be. This is similar to social skills.
If you’re saying, “My social skills keep getting worse!” It’s because you’re not aware of what exactly goes into the recipe for a successful conversation.
But, if you want to get a real taste for what a good conversation looks like and learn the skills, check out our Guide, 8 Tips on how to improve your social skills.
If your social skills keep getting worse, there may be more to what’s going on, such as a deeper issue, and that’s ok. You may need to potentially talk to someone or seek professional help.
Anyway, some skills you need to improve or at least always think about working on are in our opinion most important. They are:
*Beginning the conversation
*Asking above-average questions.
*Reading the situation and body language
*How to talk about yourself and your experiences
*Knowing how to leave a conversation
And of course much more …
#4 If you stop practicing, your social skills will get worse
Ah. We’ve all heard the old saying, “practice makes perfect.” Just remember, no one is perfect and you shouldn’t strive for perfection. But, you should definitely practice so you can level up your social skills and keep the rust from settling in.
Practice is one of the main principles we preach. You really can’t get better if you don’t actually try to have conversations. Even if you just record yourself talking, it all helps. No matter how big or small. It will help.
Also, go at a pace that works for you. As long as you can monitor your improvements and you’re consistent, then you’ll be fine.
Below are 3 ways you can practice your social skills:
Before you go out to the social event, say them out loud and visualize the moment.
Look in the mirror, especially a full body-length mirror if you can, and watch yourself talk and ask questions. How is your body language and face? Some of us might have a resting face and not even know it.
Ask a friend you trust and feel comfortable with to perform a mock conversation with you. Try to have a full conversation. Then reflect on places you can improve and what was good.
#5. Maybe you feel like you’re “on stage” and have to perform
A lot of us feel like we have to be performers when we’re out socializing. This isn’t the case. We think it’s important to be ready and confident, but the goal isn’t to impress everyone. You won’t be compatible with everyone you meet. This is ok!
If you feel pressure like being “on stage” when you’re socializing, you can at any point, mentally step back and just listen to other people talk for a few moments. Or, politely excuse yourself.
You can just be in the room without feeling like you have to perform.
Sometimes, we are our worst critics. If we don’t “perform” to a certain, and most of the time unrealistic standard, then we think our social skills keep getting worse. But really, they’re not.
Remember to take a break and step off the stage for a bit and recharge. You got this.
Take your learning to a new level. Take a course.
You have nothing to lose. Improving your social skills is probably one of the most important anyone can do to improve their life.
Reflect on this >> Knowing how to socialize at any level is significant and can dramatically be the differentiator when it comes to interviewing for a job or meeting a romantic partner.
We have a course we think you’d learn a lot from, called Next Level Conversation. Check it out here. Read the testimonials and what the course involves. And, it’s affordable.
Join our community for free tips. This is a no-brainer!
This is easy and because it’s free. You get a ton of free materials and guides. Here’s what you’ll get if you join our community:
- Our cheat sheet includes a 16-page guide on becoming socially confident
- Mini-course on how to have good conversations
- A quiz on how good your conversations
- Free tips and methods on how to best approach social situations and much more …
- No more “My social skills keep getting worse”
What you can do right now
If you really feel like your social skills keep getting worse, ask a friend. Talk to a close friend about the feelings you have about how you feel when you socialize.
Prepare more when you go out to socialize. Joining our community and Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more)
We think if you join our community, take our course, or just read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “I don’t know how to act in social situations”. But you’ll feel more confident and know what to say.