“My friends don’t talk to me”
“My friends don’t talk to me.” Or, “my friend stopped talking to me and I don’t know why!” It’s a weird experience when your friend just stopped talking to you. But why? It felt like for no reason. It’s comparable to a bad break up and the pain you feel is just as bad.
You’re left with questions you probably won’t get answers to.
What did I do? Will I speak to them again?
There are many reasons a friend may have stopped speaking to you—and the list can be long, mainly because it can be anything.
But here is a list of 11 common reasons why a friend has closed the door on your friendship and what you can do next to move on.
If you want to watch a quick video of the 11 reasons, click play on our video below!
#1. They’re simply just a bad friend
Sometimes the reasons aren’t that complicated and maybe they’ve always been a bad friend but you just ignored it.
Some qualities of a person who isn’t a good friend are they’re judgmental, aren’t present, it’s all about them, they come first and use you when they need to. Also, they don’t respond back to a call or messages.
The thought of “my friends don’t talk to me” is confusing and feels like a gut punch. Sometimes we match with the wrong people. That happens and there are plenty of people with who you can find a quality connection. Find out how below.
#2. They don’t want to be friends anymore
If someone wanted to talk with you, they would. No one is so busy that they can’t back to you within a few hours. This is also a possible sign they’re breaking up with you.
Someone would make it clear if they wanted to be friends with you. Ignoring you for days on end isn’t a good sign for any sort of relationship. You’re better off moving on and finding friends who appreciate you for who are and respect your time.
#3. Your “friend” is not interested in your life
This is similar to the above but it’s worth a mention to the thought, “my friends don’t talk to me!”
It’s been said that a great indicator of someone’s interest is how often they ask questions about your life. If you’re interested in getting to know someone and asking questions about their childhood, hopes, dreams, and goals, chances are they like being your friend.
So the fact that they’re not returning that sort of engagement is a clear sign they don’t want to be friends. It’s not because your life isn’t exciting, it’s merely that you two aren’t a good match as friends.
#4. Personal challenges can hurt the friendship
If your friend suddenly stops talking to you, they might be taking time to recharge for self-care or they may be having personal problems they’re not ready to talk about yet.
Also, your friend might have a problem they may feel ashamed of ‘admitting’ to. Or, they may feel that they’ll be bothering or upsetting you, or have fear of being labeled, and worry about how the friendship might change.
#5. You don’t want the same things anymore
Some people stop speaking to friends because they want different things. People grow apart and they move on without saying anything.
However, maybe they always did what you wanted but it was never reciprocated. Things change, and maybe the last time you talked, things were uncomfortable.
Growing apart from friends and wanting different things is never fun, or obvious sometimes, but it does happen.
#6. Maybe you were overwhelming them
Sometimes one person does all the comforting while the other person does all the venting. Are you the person who needs all the comforting?
If your friend was always the person you went to for help and complain to, it could have gotten a little overwhelming. Even though helping people navigate difficult life issues is great, if it happens all the time it can quickly weigh someone down mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically.
Ignoring you may have seemed the easiest route to move on or the only way to set a boundary. This could be the reasons you’re feeling like “my friends don’t talk to me“.
#7. You friends are emotionally immature
Sometimes we have friends who aren’t able to express themselves, are selfish, and don’t think of others.
They’re unable to take responsibility for their actions. This friend will blame others, complain, and not take any action to improve their friendship, especially if it doesn’t help them in any way.
Healthline describes an emotionally immature person as, “someone emotionally immature will find it hard to effectively communicate or process their emotions and can often appear selfish or aloof.”
These people have commitment issues, won’t go deep during a conversation, everything is about them, and you’ll feel more alone than ever as their friend. When you think, “my friends don’t talk to me“, maybe it’s time to find more mature friends who appreciate you.
#8. They seek help and friendship elsewhere
Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where you’re feeling less connected with your best friend and you realize they’ve replaced you
Maybe you’ve been squeezed out and it probably feels gut-wrenching, and awful. Discovering that your best friend is close to someone else can be upsetting. But it doesn’t have to be the end of your friendship, and it doesn’t mean that your friend doesn’t like or value you.
If you’ve lost your friend, acknowledge your feelings and thoughts, “my friends don’t talk to me“, and allow yourself time to grieve the friendship. But next, focus on meeting new people and growing your social circle. If you feel very low or depressed, talk to a trusted friend or therapist.
#9. You annoy them, so they just ignore your calls
Many people don’t even realize they’re being annoying but it might be obvious to others that you try too hard to be likable, or try to fit in by breaking basic social norms. A few things you might do that are annoying:
You’re loud and seek attention: The level of loudness of a person or the environment can be considered annoying because it’s very distracting.
Ask annoying questions: Some people always seem to need other people to help them with tasks that they can accomplish themselves if they tried harder.
When someone else is talking you interrupt: Interrupting people in the middle of a sentence because you have to express yourself now!
If this is you, the thought, “my friends don’t talk to me” or “my friends don’t talk to me”, shouldn’t be a surprise.
#10. A depressed mind can trick you into losing friends
When someone has depression, studies show that our brain is not good at seeing things from different perspectives. If you’re feeling anxiety from “my friends don’t talk to me“, this can definitely trigger depression symptoms.
If you’re in a good mood and don’t get a response to a text, you probably just assume the person is busy. In a depressed state, you might feel worthless, taken advantage of, and have no reciprocation.
Some people seem unfriendly and distant but you might find out later they were depressed and felt lonely. Depression is not easy to deal with by yourself, for some people it may be impossible. Consult a doctor and consider looking for a therapist if you feel symptoms of depression.
#11. You actually weren’t a good friend
You might be acting like a bad friend and not even know it.
When it feels like your lacking friendships in your life, it’s easy to blame others. But before you do, take a close look at yourself because sometimes it’s actually us, not them, that’s a bad friend.
Here are a few things you might be doing that caused your friend to stop talking to you:
1. You always steer the conversation back to yourself
2. It’s common for you back out of plans
3. You’re constantly leaning on friends for emotional support, but they don’t turn to you
4. Boundaries aren’t something you consider if you’re friend sets them
How can you make new friends?
After taking a look at the possible reasons behind your friend ignoring you, maybe you can try to reach out to talk and resume your friendship. If you have another chance to fix things really listen to the “How”. But if you’ve already tried this and still no response, it’s time to move on and make new friends and work on yourself.
The next step is to make new friends who appreciate you more or at least learn to become more social and meet different people. Also, improve your social skills!
“My friends don’t talk to me”.
We know making new friends isn’t easy. This can be a hard experience but you can do this and move forward and meet people who appreciate you.
You got this!
Consider improving your social skills
What else can you do right now?
Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more). Prepare more when you go out to socialize. We think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “my friends don’t talk to me?” or “My friends don’t talk to me”.
But you’ll feel more confident, and prepared and you’ll know what to do next, especially, when it comes to socializing.