Last updated on April 9th, 2023 at 09:34 am

“How to get closure to a friendship?”

Wondering how to get closure to a friendship? Well, there are many ways and easy tips to follow. Below are actions you can take to help you move forward and manage emotional challenges.  Also, breaking up with a friend or moving on from friendships can be very difficult. But there are ways to do it which won’t make you come across as rude or unfriendly. 

Most importantly, without some sort of closure, you might keep going back to a relationship that wasn’t working. Without understanding how to get closure to a friendship, you’ll likely repeat the same patterns in a relationship.

Now, let’s dive into how we can get closure to a friendship!

1. Set boundaries with yourself for closure

Now, having boundaries for yourself can help you monitor your own behavior and create a healthy structure for your life.  When you set a boundary with yourself, you’re saying: “Here’s the line for what’s okay emotionally, physically, and what’s healthy and what’s not.”

Most importantly, setting boundaries for ourselves is important to help manage our lives to run smoothly, and have standards.

Some examples of boundaries for closure to a friendship:

  • Avoiding the friend who is stressing you out
  • Not drinking alcohol during the week only once on the weekend
  • Writing feelings out once a day

2. Get closure by not taking it personally

Someone telling you they don’t want to be friends can be a very difficult and awkward situation, but it doesn’t have to be. If you can, it’s best to put aside overreactions and clouded emotional judgment.

Now, by not taking a friendship breakup personally, you can open the door to understanding and acceptance instead of holding onto feelings of rejection, which can keep you in a negative space. But this takes a lot of work and support too!! Talk to a therapist if you think you need to.

Additionally, you can use this opportunity to talk about the reasons the friendship is ending and why you don’t want to be friends, which can help the other person better understand your perspective. This is one way of understanding how to get closure to a friendship.

When we seek closure, we’re looking for answers to the cause of a certain loss in order to resolve painful feelings. 

3. Manage anger…Be patient and listen 

Ending a friendship can be difficult, and its likely you’ll feel angry at some point. Having a conversation with someone to about ending the friendship is hard! However, you don’t have to let anger dictate how you react.

So, keep an open mind throughout any additional conversations so you can ensure that both people understand and respect each other’s feelings. And, if the conversation is mature and productive, it might even help to maintain the friendship on some level. Keeping a cool head is key to having a successful conversation about moving a friendship to an end or another phase.

4. Send a text or call to get closure (if possible)

To get closure we need answers. Now, if you’re still talking to your former friend, you’re on good terms, and they’re open to talking to you, send a text or call to ask for feedback. However, talking to someone about your feelings can be difficult, but it’s an important part of the process for closure and you’ll need a lot of maturity and emotional intelligence. 

Now, if you’re able to have a conversation, stay calm, be kind and listen. Doing so will help ensure the conversation remains respectful and productive, allowing both people to feel heard and understood. Additionally, staying calm while talking and listening will help create an atmosphere of comfort and safety, making it easier to have a meaningful conversation.

losing a friendship

5. Reframe the situation to get closure 

It is never easy to hear from someone, “I don’t want to be friends with you.” However, try to reframe the situation and look at the outcome in a more positive way.

Now, only attempt to reframe the situation when you’re ready and you’ve grieved. When you can reframe the situation you might realize it’s best the friendship is over because it was toxic or you didn’t have anything in common any longer. Also, moving on can lead to something better. The popular saying is, “When a certain door is closed, another one opens.”

Quick tips to get closure to a friendship

  • Embrace sadness

  • Distract with a new hobby

  • Learn radical acceptance 

  • Understand people grow apart

  • Write a letter but don’t send

  • Go to therapy


6. Is the friendship one-way or two-way

When it comes to understanding how to get closure to a friendship or ending a friendship, it is important to consider if the relationship is one-way or two-way. If you feel like you’re the only one putting in effort and the other person is not reciprocating, it might be best to end the relationship.

On the other hand, if both parties are equally invested in the friendship and enjoy spending time together, it may be worth attempting to communicate your feelings with the other person in order to work through any issues that may be present.

“If you don’t find peace within yourself and the relationship, it can hinder your growth both personally and as a person…it’s an ongoing process of finding ways to be OK by yourself”


7. Take space physically and emotionally

To get over a relationship and feel a sense of closure, it’s important to give yourself the physical and emotional distance to move on. Also, two people may just need space to be on their own and grow. After space and logical thinking, both might agree to part ways or miss each other, and the friendship can be stronger.

Understanding how to get closure to a friendship is not easy. However, being open-minded to a new phase, physical and emotional space, and also leading different lives, can allow you closure to move on.

healing from broken friendship<br />

8. Perform a “Let It Go” ritual

A “Let It Go” ritual could be very simple, like lighting a candle and letting it burn until you feel you have closure on the relationship. Or, you could delete their number or objects that remind you of the relationship in a small fire. All of this should symbolize closure. 

Also, you can let it go through a creative act. Use your emotions in something creative, like painting or drawing, or writing a poem about your feelings. Even if you never show the creative work to anyone, the very effort of creating it to let it go can help you feel better and bring you closer to closure.


9. Discover what they needed in a friend

Knowing what your friend needs for friendship is an important step toward closure. This can give you the answers you need to understand why this friend is moving on. It’s important to listen to this and understand which qualities are important to a person for a friendship. Such as trustworthiness, empathy, and good communication. 

Again, being honest and open can be helpful. It might even propel the relationship to another phase. However, make sure to talk about why the friendship is ending. Try to get some answers.

10. Take time to reflect on what happened

How to get closure to a friendship is first taking the time to reflect on what happened and how you feel. Also, talking to a professional about your feelings can put everything into perspective. This can help you move on. It’s important to take the time to think things through.

Once you have a clear understanding, you can move forward and focus on your own well-being. Taking the time for yourself can help you feel more confident and gain closure from the situation.

How to heal from a broken friendship?

How to get over a friendship that ended badly? If you’ve had a friendship breakup or you’ve realized the relationship has gone bad, it’s important to heal. A few things you can do:

Be around people who are supportive 

It’s important to take time to talk and be comforted by people who are loving and care about you. Especially if you feel a little depressed, being around positive people will help. 

Consider going to therapy

Working with a professional who can help you understand your feelings and the situation with your friend can be profound. If you need additional support and want to vent without judgment, check out how therapy can help you. 

Get more social when you’re ready

Making new friends is a part of the healing process. Knowing what you need from a friend and what kind of person you prefer to have in your life can start here. If you’re rusty and not sure how to start conversations with new people, check out our free social tools

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

Why is closure so important in a relationship?

When you receive closure in a relationship, you can accept that the relationship is finally over and you can move on. Finding closure allows you to move forward, have space to reflect, and figure out why the relationship ended.

In addition, with closure, you might be able to get clear answers to questions you may have, which also helps you move on and let go.

“How can I make new friends?”

Making new friends can be both an exciting and intimidating experience. Finding someone with whom you share common interests, values, and personalities can be difficult. But, friends and positive relationships are important to a happy life. So, getting closure allows you to start making new friends. Starting new conversations and making small talk isn’t easy so check out our free social tools.

Lastly, check out our post that gives you 40+ conversation starters so you don’t have to think too hard.

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How therapy can help

You can find a therapist for you whenever needed, Monday-Friday, and pay much less than you would with a face-to-face therapist. There’s no hassle with traveling or keeping an appointment.

Also, you can get help from wherever you are in the world. All you need is a computer, tablet, or mobile phone.

Take a look here to learn more and get 20% off

What you can do right now

Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more) Prepare more when you go out to socialize. We think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “How to get closure to a friendship?”

But, you’ll feel more confident, and prepared and you’ll know what to do next, especially, when it comes to socializing, moving on, and meeting new friends. 

Steve Anthony

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