“How to get someone to talk to you again?” Listen, it can be hard to get someone to talk to you again, especially if two people left on bad terms or if there isn’t anything left to say. If you two people haven’t spoken in a while, working up the courage to reach out can be intimidating.
If you’re wondering how to talk to someone without being annoying or desperate then you’ve come to the right place. Below are 11 tips that can help get someone to talk to you again. These aren’t tricks to manipulate people to fall in love with you or get what you want, but are objective strategies and healthy approaches to communicate more effectively, without being desperate.
We also know, if you’re going through a tough time you might need someone to help you understand yourself better but it helps you understand other people. Finding a therapist can give you an opportunity to explore your thoughts, and feelings and help you learn new techniques to better manage daily stressors. If this sounds like a good idea, you can learn more here about discovering counseling. You can also get 20% off using this link.
Now, let’s get started. Below are the 11 tips that can help you learn how to get someone to talk to you again.
1. Give space to figure things out
You won’t get someone to talk to you again if you’re constantly texting or calling them. Leave them alone. A relationship will never work if you’re clingy or needy. That’s why taking time away from each other can be good for the overall relationship, especially communication. Most importantly, space allows people to calm down, limits emotional reactivity, and allows people to communicate clearly when ready.
Now, the challenge a lot of people have is respecting the boundary of space. Most people have a hard time hearing, “I don’t want to see you right now.” or “I need time to be by myself.” If you want to get someone to talk to you again, give them space. Let them breathe and take care of themselves. Then try to come back, and communicate your thoughts later.
2. Learn how to have a good conversation
You’re at a networking event or friend’s party where everyone is talking, laughing, and exchanging contacts. And you’re standing off to the side thinking, for the hundredth time, “I can’t hold a conversation.”
Time to change your mindset. Find out if you have social anxiety or if you’re just awkward.
3. Learn the power of asking the right questions
The right question can open the door to almost any social situation. But, you need to ask the right questions to have productive relationships. After you’ve given enough space, consider improving the questions you ask during the next conversation. Here are 5 examples:
“Tell me what your week has been like” is better than “Did you have a good week?”
“What can I do better next time?” is better than “What did I do wrong?”
“What are some things we can do differently to better communicate?” is better than “How can you communicate?”
“Tell me the reasons you’re not talking to me?” is better than “You’re not talking to me?”
“Can you help me understand a little better?” is better than “What are you talking about?”
“I wasn’t aware of that. I’d like to dig into that a bit more.” is better than “I don’t know what you’re talking about. what did you mean?
Next, These questions can open up a conversation in a positive way. The tone is less aggressive but more empathetic and can provide feedback you need to hear to make you a better person.
Lastly, when you ask questions it’s important to be sincere and calm. The person you’re trying to talk to again will not want to engage if you’re frustrated or impatient. You don’t want to say something you’ll later regret, or get stuck on trying to prove you’re right, ultimately losing sight of the bigger picture.
4. Learn to be charismatic and more likable
How will you be able to get someone to talk to you again if they don’t like you? Here are 4 rules you can follow to become more likable:
Rule #1 Be easy to talk to, make the other person feel comfortable. If you were stuck in an airport with someone who would you want to be with? Someone easy to talk to and is fun to be with. Be that person.
Rule #2 Empathy goes a long way. Understand what the other person is feeling. Are they angry or sad? Remember to use empathy statements such as. “It’s not easy what you’re going through and I’m sorry you feel this way.” The follow-up with additional questions such as, “what can I do to help you?”
Rule #3 Focus your attention, your thoughts, and feelings on the person you’re talking to. This is called being present. It’s obvious if you’re not paying attention or your thoughts are elsewhere. Put your phone away for a few minutes so your full attention is on the conversation.
Rule #4 Sincerely be interested in the conversation. Actually care about what they’re saying. Ask questions that make people feel important and feel good.
Being able to relate to someone, understand what they’re feeling, and listen, actually makes you more approachable. It especially makes you more likable. No one wants to talk to someone who always talks about themselves, ignores others, and gets easily offended. This will all help during your conversation.
5. Get a life. Meet other people and care for yourself
Yes, get a life. Stop obsessing about how to get someone to talk to you again. Go out and get a life. This means making other friends, finding hobbies, exercising, meditating, traveling, etc. Again, if you can’t get someone to talk to you again, then take some time away to heal or just give yourself space. Also, just move on.
Next, think about getting therapy. Being able to talk to someone who you trust and can process might be a great way to move on. Working on yourself is about diving deep into your thoughts, history, and insecurities. Discovering how to overcome the things holding you back in life is important and can be life-changing.
6. Be more interesting by having experiences
Being interesting is another way to get someone to talk to you again because you’ll have more to talk about. Sometimes once we finally get a life and become more independent from other people, we start to do more interesting things. This means, traveling, making new friends, moving to another city, learning a different language, etc.
Lastly, people are more interesting when they have more experiences, and learn about themselves. Someone who is worldly and emotionally intelligent is much more attractive. With experiences, you’ll have a perspective that is unique compared to your friends and will be able to contribute to a conversation on a different level. Ask yourself, “How am I feeding my life so I can develop my own unique perspective?”
7. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Being vulnerable can help you be more honest with yourself and with the person you’re trying to talk to. If you make your partner feel inadequate they’ll withdraw. Use “I Statements” that express your feelings needs or wants. Here is an example:
“I feel like you don’t care about me when you don’t talk to me for two weeks. I need to feel that you care about me by contacting me somehow.”
Being vulnerable means you’re sharing your true self. Also, you’re being real without hiding behind a wall so people can see you in a certain way. But, if you express yourself with honest intentions and the person reacts negatively, then you should step back and reconsider the path of the relationship.
Lastly, own your part. If you’ve made a mistake, then own it. Rather than getting defensive, say something like: ”I owe you an apology for not communicating on my end. Let’s talk about how we can move forward to make our relationship better so that this doesn’t happen again.”
8. Don’t interrupt. Care about what they’re saying
If you’re trying to get someone to talk to you again. DON’T INTERRUPT THEM. Next, put you’re emotions aside for a moment and listen. Sometimes people just need you to listen.
One of the worst things you can do is interrupt someone because you think they’re wrong. If you don’t want to strain the relationship, even more, stop yourself from interrupting. Also, stay calm and breathe. Taking a few deep breaths can help you stay out of reactive mode.
Lastly, be aware of emotional contagion. Emotional contagion is the phenomenon of having one person’s emotions and behavior directly trigger similar emotions and behaviors in other people. If one person gets heated up, it’s easy for another person to become emotionally triggered and before you know it, you have two people swinging punches.
9. Learn how to end a conversation the right way
When trying to get someone to talk to you again it’s a good idea to have a plan after the first conversation. Keep in mind what your goals are.
- To say I’m sorry
- To talk about feelings and insecurities about the relationship
- What you want from the other person
- The direction you want the relationship to go
Next, when you finish the conversation with someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, figure out what to do next. If it goes well, decide if it’s worth pursuing the relationship. If it is, then here are some examples you can ask for a second interaction:
“It’s been great talking with you again. I’d like to continue talking over coffee next week?”
“I’m glad we talked today, how do you feel about meeting next week to talk more?”
“The relationship with you is important. I’d love to stay in touch and meet up soon.”
Lastly, if your first interaction has gone well. Consider using the above statements. If it doesn’t, then more space might be a good idea.
10. Be able to handle rejection and prepare for it
Some people feel less afraid of rejection if they admit it’s a possibility and they have a plan in place to deal with it. When trying to get someone to talk to you again, it’s important to realize things might not go your way. They may not want to talk to you. But, that’s OK. It will hurt but it will be OK and you’ll eventually move on in a more positive direction.
Also, just because someone might not be ready to talk to you now, they may be ready to later. You want to be able to leave a conversation on the best terms possible.
Here are a few ways to handle rejection:
- Give yourself time to feel down about it.
- Go do something really fun, exercise, talk to a friend who will listen.
- Challenge self-critical thoughts about yourself.
- Find a therapist.
- Think about how important rejection can be. Rejection can open the door to new friends, jobs, travel, and more. Challenge yourself to see the positives of a rejection.
11. Keep an open mind
People who are able to open their minds to new ideas and new experiences are more likely to be happy and accepting of the change. So, before you have a conversation with someone you’ve been trying to talk to, think about the 3 tips below:
- Let go of control. Challenge your current beliefs by letting go of control.
- Accept change. Opening up your mind to new experiences, different life paths, new perspectives.
- Be honest. Be honest enough to admit that you don’t have all the answers and that’s OK.
With a lot of things in our life, the journey starts in your mind. But sometimes it’s hard to do it on your own and your insecurities are more complex than you thought.
Working on yourself is also about diving deep into your thoughts, history, and insecurities.
Discovering how to overcome anything holding you back in life is important and can be life-changing. Discover counseling in your area by clicking here.
When someone refuses to talk to you
What can you do when someone refuses to talk to you?
Having someone reject your attempts to communicate and connect can be difficult to experience. In these situations, it’s important to remember that the other person’s response is not necessarily a reflection of you. Before taking any action, it’s important to assess the situation. Ask yourself if the person has a valid reason for not wanting to communicate. If so, respect their wishes and leave them be.
However, if you believe that this is a misunderstanding or the result of an emotional response, it may be worth trying to connect with them again. In these cases, it’s a good idea to give the person some space and let them reach out when they’re ready. You can also try engaging with them in an alternative way, such as sending a letter or text message or even just writing down your feelings in a journal.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide how best to respond but try to remain open-minded and respectful of the other person’s decision at all times.
How to get over someone who refuses to talk to me
Getting over someone who has refused to talk to you can be difficult and overwhelming. However, it’s important to remember that you have the power to move on and eventually heal. First, acknowledge that this person doesn’t want to talk to you and accept that you can’t change the other person’s mind. It’s also important to remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Reach out to friends or family members who can offer emotional support and understanding. You can also find support from online communities or mental health professionals if needed.
Next, try to find activities that bring you joy and help distract yourself from thinking about this person. Alternatively, try writing about your feelings to express them in a healthy way. As you go through the healing process, find ways to take care of yourself and practice self-love. Understand that it is normal to feel a range of emotions during this time and take as much time as you need to get over this person. With these tips, you can find your way back to feeling hopeful and whole again.
What else can you do right now
Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more) Prepare more when you go out to socialize. We think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “when someone refuses to talk to you?”.
But you’ll feel more confident, prepared and you’ll know what to do next, especially, when it comes to socializing.