How to tell someone you’re not interested?

Knowing how to tell someone you’re not interested can be difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s important to do so with respect and kindness.

It’s never easy to turn someone down. There are steps you can take to ensure that the conversation is respectful, clear, and straightforward.

If you’re looking to let someone down easy this is the place. Dive into the killer strategies and real-world examples for saying ‘I’m not interested’ without bruising egos!

Let’s go!

The Best Way to Tell Someone You’re Not Interested

The best way to tell someone you’re not interested is to be direct yet kind. Clearly state your feelings without leaving room for misunderstanding, but do so with compassion and respect for the other person’s emotions.

When expressing disinterest, clarity, and kindness are key. You might say, “I’ve enjoyed our time together, but I don’t feel a romantic connection.” This approach is straightforward, sparing their feelings and avoiding confusion. It ensures open, respectful communication and allows both parties to move forward.

Read below for more ways to tell someone you’re not interested.

how to say no to people

‘Not Interested’: What It Signifies


Telling someone you’re not interested involves a careful balance of honesty and tact. It means being clear about your lack of romantic feelings while delivering the message in a way that’s considerate of their emotions.

The goal is to convey your disinterest firmly but kindly, ensuring you respect their dignity and minimize potential hurt.

Breaking Down: The Simple ‘Not Interested’ Talk

Assess Your Feelings: Understand precisely why you’re not interested, so your response is genuine and clear and you don’t feel shitty.

Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a suitable environment where you can speak privately and without interruptions.

Be Direct but Gentle: Use clear and unambiguous language, but also be compassionate. For example, “I value our friendship, but I don’t feel a romantic connection.”

Use “I” Statements: Focus on your feelings rather than attributing anything negative to the other person.

Avoid Leading Them On: Be definitive without leaving room for misinterpretation, but also avoid being unnecessarily harsh.

Respond to Their Reaction: They may feel disappointed or have questions, so be prepared to handle their response empathetically.

Offer Friendship if Appropriate: If you feel that a friendship is still possible and genuine, make that clear.

Respect Privacy: Keep the conversation confidential, showing respect for both your feelings and theirs.

Prioritize Safety: If you have concerns about how they might react, ensure you’re in a safe situation or have someone aware of your whereabouts.

Telling someone you’re not interested is a delicate task that requires a balance of honesty and empathy.

By following this structured approach, you can convey your feelings in a way that respects both your emotions and the emotions of the other person.

Now, read the examples below!

telling someone you're definitely not interested after one date

How to tell someone you’re not interested after a first date?

When you tell someone you’re now interested it’s never easy. And, it’s even more difficult when it comes after a first date. It’s important, to be honest, and say that you don’t feel the same way about them in the most respectful way possible.

This can be done by being direct but also kind and understanding.

Also, it doesn’t have to be a long thought-out response but ultimately, this is about respecting their feelings and letting them down gently.

1. Hey, it was nice meeting you, but I’m not interested in a second date. I wish you the best.

2. I had a lot of fun hanging out, but I don’t think I felt a connection. Best of luck!

3. Hey! I had fun the other night, but it seems we’re not looking for the same things. All the best.

4. It was great to meet you last night but after thinking about it, I’m just not feeling a romantic vibe. I think it’s best if we don’t meet up again. Take care!

5. After thinking about it, I’m just not feeling a connection and think it’s best if we don’t meet up again. Good luck.

6. Hi, it was fun meeting you, but I’m looking for a serious partner right now. It didn’t seem we were a good match. All the best.

7. Hey there! I had a great time but I just don’t see things going anywhere.

8. Thanks for a great night. But this isn’t what I’m looking for right now.

9. I appreciate you buying drinks the other night, but don’t feel ready to be dating right now and don’t want to lead you on.

10. I didn’t feel a spark the other night and don’t see this moving forward.

11. Hey there, thanks again for meeting up the other night but I’m not feeling the vibe between us and I don’t want to lead you on. Best of luck!

Be honest when telling someone you’re not interested. 

12. I don’t think we’re a romantic match but I’d love to be friends!

13. Hey, nice chatting the other day but I don’t see this as a long-term relationship.

14. Hi there, I didn’t feel like we were a good fit after last night. I hope you find someone terrific.

15. I really don’t think we have many things in common but I appreciate your time.

16. Thanks for coming up to me and I’m sure it was probably hard to come to talk with me but I’m not interested. I hope you have a nice day.

17. I’m in an on/off with someone else, and I don’t think it’s fair to keep seeing you.

18. It’s been great being single and I don’t want to be in a relationship at this time.

19. Hey, thanks for hanging out tonight. Honestly, I don’t feel like we had great chemistry, so I think I’m going to pass on a second date. But I appreciate you taking the time to meet up. Good luck with everything!

7 Suggestions to Communicate Disinterest: Watch the Video

How to tell someone you’re not interested after a few dates

Telling someone you’re not interested after a few dates can be a difficult situation and can sometimes cause hurt feelings. Especially after you’ve spent time with them on several dates. However, it is important, to be honest, and clear when communicating your feelings.

Now, if you have been on a few dates with someone but have decided that you are not interested in pursuing the relationship further, it is important to gently communicate this to the other person. 

Lastly, in order to avoid any potential hurt feelings or misunderstandings, especially in other social situations, clear communication is important.

1. You’re an incredible person and I want to show you the respect I think you deserve and let you know I’m not into this any further. I don’t think we’re right for each other.

2. I just don’t feel the spark between us and don’t want to continue dating. I prefer to stay friends if you’re comfortable with that.

3. After reflecting on the last few dates I think I’m just not feeling something it anymore. It’s best if we part ways.

4. Thanks for meeting up. But I don’t think we have enough in common to keep dating. I appreciate all the time we’ve spent together.

5. It’s hard for me to see a future with you after the past several dates. I wish you the best.

Remember to keep the message positive and appreciative 

6. You’re awesome and have had fun the last few dates. But I noticed I didn’t feel a spark when we were talking.

7. I’m looking for someone more serious and I don’t think we’re compatible after these last few dates.

8. I’m not looking for anyone serious but someone who I can just have fun with. Best of luck and hope you find someone great.

9. As much as I really enjoyed hanging out the last few times, we’re not the right fit for one another.

Sometimes people realize they aren’t compatible after a few dates

10. You’re a fantastic person but I’m not interested anymore. I know you’ll find someone great.

11. You seem like a great person but I’m not interested after the first date.

12. I’m just not ready to take on anything serious at the moment.

13. Sorry I don’t have time to invest in someone or relationships. I appreciate your interest and I hope you understand.

14. It feels like you and I don’t vibe well. However, you seem like a nice person. Thanks again but I’m not interested in another date.

15. It’s been a fun few dates but I’m not feeling the spark between us I’m hoping for. It feels like we’re different people and have different interests. I wish you all the best and hope you find someone great. 

politely tell someone im not interested

It’s OK to be expressive and honest with your thoughts

16. It’s been awesome getting to know you. I’m looking for a less serious relationship, someone who shares my political views and enjoys traveling as much as I do. I don’t think we’re a good match for each other.

17. After our first date I didn’t feel a good connection. I’m sure you’re amazing in many ways but I’m looking for a spark with someone.

18. I’m not feeling the same way I did on our first date but I don’t feel the same recently. I know it may be hard to hear, but I’m not interested in a romantic relationship anymore.

19. I’ve come out of a serious relationship and I’m not interested in dating after the last few weeks.

20. I’m sorry if I led you on, I don’t feel comfortable moving forward with another date. I wish you the best of luck

21. Thanks for hanging out today but I don’t think I’ll do it again. Good luck!

im not interested right now

How to tell someone you’re not interested without hurting their feelings

It can be difficult to tell someone you’re not interested in them, but again, like we’ve said, it’s important, to be honest, and respectful. The key is to be direct and clear in your communication, while also expressing compassion.

Also, by focusing on your own needs and feelings, you can politely express that you’re not interested without hurting someone else’s feelings. This will help you in future social situations too!

Focus on your needs and politely express you’re not interested

1. It’s been great getting to know you over the past few weeks but I’m not feeling a romantic vibe between us.

2. It’s what I’m looking for and is important to me.

3. Hey, I hope you’re having a good day! I’m reaching out to let you know I’m not interested in another date. It was a fun time meeting you but didn’t feel a spark between us. I wish you the best!

4. It was great meeting you the other day for coffee. I feel like I don’t have the same relationship goals and think it’s best for me to move on.

5. I’m glad and amazed you showed interest in me but the problem is I’m not ready for a relationship in this moment.

You can be straightforward and sensitive at the same time

6. Ah, I’m with someone already. It’s very flattering. Have a good day.

7. I enjoyed our conversation last night but my idea of a relationship is more open and less traditional. I think you’re a fantastic person but I’m not compatible.

8. Thanks so much and I appreciate the offer, but I’m not interested

9. Right now something like that can’t work for me. But I wish you the best and appreciate you as a friend.

10. Hey, I’m busy and things are crazy in my life right now, so I can’t be involved in a relationship right now.

11. After reflecting and I’m sorry if I led you on. I wish you the best!

12. I’ve enjoyed our dates and getting to know you but I’m not interested in moving forward in the relationship. I wish you the best and I hope you find someone who makes you happy. Best of luck!

How to tell someone you aren't interested
learn to set boundaries

How to tell someone you’re not interested via text

In the age of texting, it can be difficult to know how to tell someone you’re not interested. But for many people texting someone you’re not interested in can be much easier than calling or meeting in person. The best way to go about this is to state your feelings upfront in a straightforward but kind manner.

Also, be sincere and avoid any misunderstandings. Lastly, consider reading it out loud or have a friend read it too to make sure the tone is fine. 

Lastly, never forget how important setting boundaries are. It’s to protect yourself and your values.

texting and not interested

1. Hey, I know we mentioned meeting up later this week, but I’m feeling like we’re not a match. Take care!

2. Thanks for the date tonight, but I’m not interested in meeting for another date. Take care!

3. You’re a great person and you’ll find a better match.

4. Right now I have so and so priorities and I want to focus on them.

5. Thank you for your interest but I’ve decided to not meet up for a second date. Good luck!

6. I’ll have to respectfully decline.

7. I’m sorry I’m not interested, as I don’t feel the same way.

8. I’m taking more time to work on things in my life and I’m not available for another date.

9. I’ve always seen you as a friend. A great person to vent to.

Texting someone you’re not interested is easier and safer too

10. I like you but not in a romantic way. Being friends feels better than being romantic.

11. Thanks again for last night but I don’t feel a connection. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

12. You’re a wonderful person, but I haven’t been feeling attracted to you.

13. Hey, I think you’re great, but I’m not feeling the chemistry between us.

14. Sorry but I’m not feeling romantically or sexually attracted to you and don’t see this relationship continuing.

15. No thanks! I’m not interested

16. This is flattering but I’m not interested.

17. I think you’re very attractive, but I’m not interested. Have a good day!

texting and dating
reject someone via text

How to let a guy know you’re not interested

Understanding how to let a guy know you’re not interested, is a vital skill that promotes clarity and trust in interpersonal relationships. It’s about more than just honesty; it’s a matter of safety and respect.

Conveying this message firmly yet kindly minimizes confusion and potential negative reactions.

When trying to let a nice guy know you’re not interested, it’s important to be honest and kind, ensuring you respect their feelings while clearly communicating your own.

10 simple, clear, and respectful ways to let someone know you’re not interested:

1. I appreciate your interest, but I see us as just friends.

2. Thank you for the offer, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.

3. I’m flattered, but I don’t feel a romantic connection.

4. I think you’re great, but I’m not feeling the chemistry.

5. Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m focusing on myself at the moment.

6. I value our friendship and wouldn’t want to change that.

7. You’re a nice person, but I don’t think we’re a match.

8. I respect your feelings, but I’m not interested in dating.

9. I think it’s best if we keep our relationship on a platonic level.

10. I’m honored by your interest, but my heart is elsewhere right now.

what to say to tell someone no

5 boundaries to set when you’re not interested

These 5  ideas of setting boundaries can be used for any social situation. They’re great to keep in mind when you’re thinking, “how to tell someone you’re not interested”.

1. Don’t tolerate deception

Where there is deception, there is no relationship. Trust is most important in a relationship.

2. Don’t be tolerant out of fear of being alone

When you date out of fear of being alone, you risk putting up with disrespectful behavior from others.

3. Define what you’re ok with and not ok with

We have preferences when making friends, dating or just socializing, overall connecting with people. Know what you want in a person and what you won’t tolerate in life.

4. Don’t tolerate someone you wouldn’t be friends with

Relationships are more positive when you can connect with someone and have more in common with them.

5. Be aware if they’re opposite of you

People sometimes mistake interest and connection. Try to make sure they’re sincerely interested in you and if they match your values and ideas. 

how to let someone know you're not interested

Feel anxious when telling people you’re not interested?

You may feel overly anxious and it could be a social anxiety disorder.

Find out more by taking a quiz. 

Social anxiety is a disorder that can make someone feel very self-conscious and nervous in social situations. It is common to have some level of social anxiety, but it becomes a problem when the symptoms are severe.

If the symptoms are not addressed, they can lead to other mental health problems like depression.

Click below to find out more about how therapy can help you.

therapy for social anxiety

What you can do right now

Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more) Prepare more when you go out to manage different social situations. We think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “How to tell someone you’re not interested.”

But, you’ll feel more confident, and prepared and you’ll know what to do next, especially, when it comes to socializing.

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