There are many people who say, “I find it hard to talk to people.” If this is you, you may think you don’t have anything to say at all or that your stories are boring. However, believe it or not, you are capable of having a good conversation and being interesting.
Now, there are plenty of conversation starters that can help you start conversations with people. So, next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel you have no one to talk to, or you’re saying, “I find it hard to talk to people, try these tips below.
1. Don’t ramble on, overshare, or talk too much
If you’re like me, a big part of your social life is talking to people. You want to be interesting and engaging, but you also don’t want to ramble in front of other people.
It can be difficult to have good conversations when you’re nervous or feel unsure about what to say, especially if you tend to talk a lot. But if you work on reducing the number of times you say things, you’ll find it much easier to have meaningful conversations with others.
2. Learn to pause
If someone asks you a question and you can’t think of an answer right away, let them know you need a moment to mull it over. This lets them know that you’re listening to them and that you’re not trying to rush them or ramble out of nervousness.
3. Notice social cues, such as eyes or body language
These subtle verbal and non-verbal signals are often overlooked, but they can help you keep a conversation on track.
For example, if you’re having a conversation about a topic that interests you, and the other person looks genuinely engaged in it, it may be time to move forward. However, if they start looking around or fiddling with their phone, it’s time to pull back and refocus the conversation.
If you’re having trouble focusing on what to say, or you’re struggling to express yourself effectively in conversation, you might consider seeing a therapist.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Asking questions is a great way to get information and improve your communication skills. It can also help you learn more about others and make new friends.
But there are some important principles you should keep in mind when asking questions. These can make all the difference between a good question and a bad one.
5. Use good questions that get straight to the point
A good question should be clear and concise but also descriptive so the other person knows what you mean. This will ensure you don’t miss important details and don’t have to rephrase your question later.
6. Be interested in the person you’re talking to
If you are genuinely interested in someone’s answers, they will feel more comfortable sharing information about themselves and their life with you. This will ultimately lead to a more open and honest relationship.
4. Show respect for the other person’s space.
If a person shows that they are uncomfortable when answering your questions, it may be a sign that they don’t trust you or want to provide you with the best information possible. If that’s the case, don’t force them to answer if they are uncomfortable.
Being a good question-asker can be a difficult skill to master, but it is definitely worth the effort. Once you master it, you will be able to speak with others on a deeper level and build relationships that last a lifetime.
7. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Vulnerability can be scary, but it’s a vital part of human connection. It’s where love, belonging, courage, empathy and joy are born. However, our culture has labeled vulnerability as a weakness, which can make it difficult to feel comfortable being more open with others.
One of the best ways to be more vulnerable when talking to people is by showing your true self. This means sharing your thoughts, feelings, and stories with them. This shows them that you are a person they can trust and like, which is key to building strong relationships.
It also gives them the opportunity to offer you support and help you overcome your feelings, which can be incredibly helpful in getting through difficult situations.
8. Don’t be afraid, to be honest
If you find it hard to talk to people, try to be more honest. This can help you build relationships and develop trust with them. Honesty is the ability to speak the truth and present yourself in a sincere manner without pretense. It also includes being trustworthy, loyal, and fair.
You should be honest when you tell others about your feelings, your decisions, and your actions. This can help you maintain a positive relationship with them and improve your self-esteem. In addition, be honest with yourself when you’re feeling low. This will help you avoid relapsing and letting your emotions get the best of you.
If you’re trying to have a conversation with a coworker, be open and discuss their hobbies or current events. This will show them that you value their interests and are interested in hearing about their lives. This can also help you make connections with them if you’re interested in the same things. For example, if you’re both big fans of baseball, ask them about their favorite team.
What else can you do now
Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more) Prepare more when you go out to socialize or deal with neighbors. We can always be more prepared in social situations.
So, we think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “I find it hard to talk to people”, and you’ll know what to do next, especially, when it comes to socializing and setting boundaries with people.