“How to tell if a guy likes you?”

How to tell if a guy likes you? Have you ever found yourself caught in the enigmatic dance of deciphering someone’s true feelings?

Understanding the signs that reveal a guy’s genuine interest can provide much-needed clarity and peace of mind. But, one question seems to echo louder than the rest:

“Does he like me?“

So, fasten your seatbelt and get ready to navigate the subtle realms of attraction. We’ll uncover the secrets to unraveling the question that has intrigued hearts for generations:

“How to tell if a guy likes me?” Let’s go!

What You’ll Learn: 

• The 12 major signs on how to tell if a guy likes you

• How to tell if a shy guy likes you at work
• Common phrases and words used if a guy likes you
• Signs he likes you over text
• Take a Quiz to see if he likes you

1. He Initiates Contact: Makes Effort to Reach Out First

Communication is a fundamental part of human connections. It’s even more significant when considering romantic relationships. 

Dr. John Gottman, relationship psychologist, emphasizes the importance of “bids for connection” in maintaining relationships.

The bid is any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection.

If a guy consistently initiates contact, whether, through text, calls, or social media, it’s a clear indication that he’s making bids for connection, suggesting he has a vested interest in building a relationship with you.

Action Step 1: Note the frequency and context of his initiations. Is he reaching out first more often than not? Are his conversations engaging or just surface-level?

Action Step 2: Respond to his bids by reciprocating. Engage in conversation, show appreciation for his effort, and show your willingness to connect

2. Read Silent Signals: His Body Language

Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of Silent Messages, found that 55% of communication comes from body language. Therefore, body language can be a powerful tool in discerning someone’s feelings. 

Pay attention if he leans towards you during conversations, makes frequent eye contact, mirrors your body language, or breaks the touch barrier.

This shows he’s attentive and likely attracted to you.

If you’re wondering about which signs say he doesn’t like you, read them here.

Action Step 1: Pay attention to his body language when he’s with you. Look for signs of interest like eye contact, facing towards you, and mimicking your gestures.

Action Step 2: Experiment with altering your body language. Lean in during a conversation or use more expressive gestures and see how he responds.

3. He Remembers the Fine Details: Memory Markers

In his book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” Dr. Gottman emphasizes the importance of turning towards your partner’s bids for emotional connection. 

When a guy remembers intricate details from your conversations, he’s not only showing that he actively listens when you talk but is also turning towards your emotional bids. 

This indicates he values your thoughts and experiences. A sign of attraction.

Action Step 1: Reflect on your previous conversations. Did he recall specific things that you shared about your life?

Action Step 2: Be more intentional in sharing details about your life and observe if he brings them up in future discussions.

4. Nervous Vibes: When He’s Anxious Around You

When a person is attracted to another, the brain releases a surge of adrenaline and norepinephrine, hormones associated with the stress response. 

This reaction may lead to signs of nervousness, such as fidgeting or stumbling over words. If he displays these behaviors, it could indicate an attraction.

Action Step 1: Notice his behavior when he’s with you. Is he a bit nervous or fidgety? 

Action Step 2: Create a comfortable environment to make him feel more at ease. You could do this by being open and supportive during your interactions.

5. Playful Banter: He Teases You or Jokes Around

Dr. Hall, in a series of studies on humor and relationships, found that shared laughter can predict romantic attraction and that women tend to prefer men who make them laugh. 

If he’s often joking around with you or engaging in light-hearted teasing, it may be his way of creating a bond and showing attraction.

Action Step 1: Reflect on how often he uses humor or teases you in your interactions.

Action Step 2: Respond to his humor and initiate your own to further engage with him and build a shared sense of enjoyment.

6. Curiosity: He Shows Genuine Interest in Your Life

When someone is truly interested in you, they go beyond asking basic questions and show a genuine interest in understanding you better. 

According to Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists, empathetic understanding – understanding someone’s thoughts and emotions in a deeply relatable way – is critical to successful relationships.

Action Step 1: Pay attention to his questions. Are they generic, or do they delve deeper into your personal life and experiences? 

Action Step 2: Share more about your personal life, thoughts, and feelings, and observe his reactions.

7. Friend Signals: Decoding His Friends’ Behavior

Friends often pick up on changes in behavior before the person involved even notices. Dr. Eli Finkel, a social psychologist, affirms that friends can be quite insightful in determining whether someone is interested in you. 

If his friends act differently around you – perhaps they tease him, or they become more observant of your reactions – it could be a sign that he’s expressed or demonstrated an interest in you. Not sure how to approach friends, read more here. 

Action Step 1: Be observant of his friends’ behavior when you’re around.

Action Step 2: Engage with his friends more frequently and openly to gain additional insights into his feelings towards you.

8. The Time: Efforts to Extend Moments with You

A significant indicator of someone’s interest is their desire to spend time with you.

Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, says, “When you like someone, you want to be with them all the time”. If he often seeks opportunities to hang out or subtly creates situations that bring you together, it’s likely he’s attracted to you.

Action Step 1: Reflect on the amount of time he tries to spend with you. Is it more than usual or beyond what’s necessary? 

Action Step 2: Show your openness to spending more time with him, and note how he responds.

9. Words of Affirmation: He Compliments You

Compliments can serve as a clear sign of attraction. 

Psychologist Nicolas Gueguen conducted a study demonstrating that compliments could increase a person’s liking towards the complimenter. 

If he often acknowledges your achievements, appreciates your talents, or admires your appearance, he may be trying to express his affection.

Action Step 1: Reflect on the compliments he gives you. Are they thoughtful, personalized, and heartfelt? 

Action Step 2: Show appreciation for his compliments and reciprocate. Genuine compliments can strengthen the bond and mutual attraction.

10. Subtle Envy: When He Exhibits Signs of Jealousy

Jealousy can be a natural reaction to the perceived threat of losing someone valuable to a rival. Dr. David Buss, an evolutionary psychologist, suggests that a moderate and heathy level of jealousy can be a sign of a valued relationship. 

If he shows signs of protective behavior or mild jealousy when other men are around, it could indicate he has romantic feelings for you.

Action Step 1: Notice his behavior when other men are around you. Does he seem protective or slightly jealous?

Action Step 2: Communicate with him about these feelings. Open dialogue can foster understanding and deepen emotional intimacy.

11. He’s Supports You: Goes the Extra Mile to Help

Psychologist Brooke Feeney suggests that being responsive to a partner’s needs, particularly during times of stress, can create a secure bond between partners. 

If he’s there for you during difficult times, providing support, offering help, and understanding your emotions, it signifies a high level of care and likely romantic feelings.

Action Step 1: Reflect on the instances when you needed support. Was he there for you, both emotionally and practically?

Action Step 2: Acknowledge his support and express gratitude. Positive reinforcement can strengthen your bond.

12. He Opens Up: Shares personal stories and feelings

According to Dr. Arthur Aron’s “Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness,” mutual vulnerability fosters closeness and attraction. 

If he shares personal stories, feelings, or thoughts with you that he doesn’t share with everyone, it’s a sign of trust and emotional intimacy, suggesting deeper feelings for you.

Action Step 1: Is any emotional intimacy during your conversations. Does he share personal thoughts and feelings with you? 

Action Step 2: Show willingness to reciprocate his openness and vulnerability, creating an environment conducive to deepening emotional intimacy.

Common words, phrases, topics used in conversations if a guy likes you … 

1. Compliments: Phrases like “You look great today,” “I love your smile,” or “That’s a really good point” can make the other person feel good and appreciated.

2. Playful Teasing: Light-hearted ribbing or teasing can add a flirtatious tone to the conversation. Phrases like “Is that so?” or “I bet you can’t beat me in…” can be part of this.

3. Shared Interests: Discovering common ground is key in building rapport. Phrases like “You’re into [interest], too? I love that!” or “We should do [shared activity] together sometime” can enhance connection.

4. Expressing Interest: Phrases such as “Tell me more about that,” “What do you think about…?” or “How did you get into…?” shows that you’re interested in learning about them.

5. Light-hearted Challenges: Statements like “I bet you can’t…” or “Let’s see who can…” foster a playful and competitive vibe.

6. Future Plans: Mentioning things you could do together in the future, such as “We should check out that new restaurant sometime,” or “Have you ever tried hiking? We should go.”

7. Casual Touch: While not exactly words or phrases, mentioning a casual touch like, “Oops, our hands brushed,” can signal flirtatious intent.

8. Playful Exaggeration: Exaggerated compliments or reactions can be flirtatious, such as “Wow, you’re the most interesting person I’ve met in ages!”

9. Emotional Disclosure: Sharing personal feelings or experiences can signal interest and trust, such as “I haven’t told many people this, but…”

10. Humor: Jokes, puns, and funny anecdotes are always a good way to keep the conversation light and enjoyable.

Remember, the key to good flirtation is respect and understanding. It’s important to gauge the other person’s comfort and interest level, and to respect their boundaries.

How to tell if a shy guy likes you at work

1. Non-verbal cues

Non-verbal communication can often be more revealing than words, especially with shy individuals.

At work, the shy guy might have developed a penchant for using body language to convey his feelings subtly. Perhaps he always ensures he’s positioned to see you during team meetings, or maybe his eyes seem to follow you across the office. 

As Dr. Albert Mehrabian said…

“7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through certain vocal elements, and 55% through nonverbal elements.”

So, don’t dismiss these signs as mere coincidence.

Action Tip: Try to position yourself within his line of sight and see if he maintains that visual connection. If he does, it’s likely not an accident.

2. Active Listening

For a shy guy, active listening can be a safer means of interaction.

He may not be comfortable initiating conversations, but if he’s attentive when you speak, giving non-verbal cues of agreement. Or, even following up on things you said in past conversations, these are strong indicators of interest.

Renowned psychotherapist, Esther Perel, puts it beautifully, “Listening is an act of love.”

Action Tip: Pay attention to his reactions during your conversations. Is he engaged and responsive even if he’s not the one doing the talking? This could be his way of showing interest.

3. Seeking Solitude

If he makes an effort to find moments of solitude with you amidst the workplace hustle and bustle, this might be a sign he likes you. 

Shy people often feel more at ease in one-on-one situations.

As Sophia Dembling, author of “The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World” suggests, “Introverts treasure the close relationships they have stretched so much to make.”

Action Tip: Give him opportunities to interact with you alone, maybe during a coffee break or in a less crowded setting. It could make him feel more comfortable and more likely to express himself.

4. Social Media Interaction

The shy guy at work might be more comfortable interacting with you through social media or work chat platforms, where he has the time and space to think about his responses.

As Ana Homayoun, author and expert on social media and tweens, asserts, “Digital communication can be a place where shy people find their voices.”

Action Tip: Notice his digital interactions with you. Is he responsive, does he initiate chats, or ‘likes’ and comments on your posts more frequently? This could be his safe space for showing his interest.

Signs he likes you over text

1. Frequent and Meaningful Texts

One of the most obvious signs a guy likes you is the frequency and content of his texts.

If he’s constantly reaching out, it’s a strong indication of his interest.

But it’s not just about how often he texts, but what he texts.

If he’s diving into meaningful conversations, asking about your day, your aspirations, or your thoughts on deep topics, it indicates a desire for a more profound connection.

Action Tip: Pay attention to the balance between small talk and deep conversations in your text exchanges. If he is not afraid to dive into personal and meaningful topics, it might mean he’s trying to get to know you on a deeper level.

2. He Engages with Your Texts

If a guy likes you, he’s likely to engage more fully with the content of your messages. He might respond to a funny meme you shared, ask more about the story you told, or compliment your wit or insight.

In essence, he’s not just responding; he’s actively participating in the conversation. 

As communication expert Deborah Tannen noted, “Each person’s life is lived as a series of conversations.”

Action Tip: Notice if he’s responding with more than just one-word answers. If he’s adding to the conversation and building upon what you’ve said, it’s a good sign of his interest.

3. He Texts You at Different Times of the Day

When a guy is into you, he won’t restrict his texts to a particular time.

You may receive a “good morning” text, a random check-in during the day, or even a “good night” message. This demonstrates you’re on his mind throughout the day, and he enjoys being in contact with you.

Action Tip: Note when he texts you. If it’s not restricted to one specific time and it seems like he reaches out whenever he’s thinking of you, he may very well be interested.

How to tell if he likes you Quiz!

So, there you have it, love detectives!

Decoding if a guy’s into you is less about finding a hidden Da Vinci code and more about spotting signs in plain sight.

“How to tell if a guy likes you?” We’ll, look out for that spark in his eyes, his eager chit-chats, the way he’s suddenly into all your interests, and how he’s more reliable than a Swiss watch when you need him.

Remember! Guys are like snowflakes – no two are exactly alike. So, these signs can vary.

And, if all else fails, just ask him. As the great Jane Austen wrote…

“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” Just swap ‘love’ with ‘like’ and you’re golden!

What else can you do right now?

Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more) Prepare more when you go out to socialize. We think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “how to tell if a guy likes you?” 

But, you’ll feel more confident, and prepared and you’ll know what to do next, especially, when it comes to socializing.