How to get someone to leave you alone

There is no easy way to tell someone you don’t like them. You will likely have to confront the person directly and tell them that you dislike, oppose, and don’t want to be around them. This will likely be an uncomfortable conversation, but it’s the best way to get your point across. So, we’re here today to tell you how to get someone to leave you alone and move on from whatever the relationship is.

There are a few ways to go about telling someone you don’t like them or, telling someone you don’t like them as a friend. 

You can be direct and tell them straight out that you don’t like them. This can be difficult, but it’s the most honest approach. You can also try to be indirect by telling them that you’re not interested in getting to know them better. This approach can be less confrontational, but it may not be as effective.

You can also try to avoid them altogether. This may not be the most mature approach, but it can be the easiest way to deal with the situation.

Now, let’s dive into the 55 examples and 11 tips we think can help you tell someone you don’t like them.

Let’s go!

56 examples to tell someone you don’t like them

These examples can be for friendships or someone you’re dating. You can also alter what you see below to fit your situation.

There are a few ways to say that you are not interested:

• Face to face
• Via text or email

Now, 56 examples on how to get someone to leave you alone:

1. “ I want to be upfront with you. I don’t feel we are compatible for the long term.”

2. I don’t think we’re compatible. I want to remain friends.”

3. “I’m flattered you’ve reached out, but I’m in a relationship.”

4. “Being friends with you has been hard lately and I need space to focus on myself.”

5. “I haven’t been able to focus on myself lately and I’d rather spend my time taking care of myself.”

6. “Our friendship has been tough this month and I think we’re on different paths now. I think we should give each other space.”

7. “I’m seeing other people right now and I don’t want to have a serious relationship with you.”

8. “I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

9. We’re not very computable friends anymore. We have different views and I think we should take some space.”

10. “The last few weeks have been great however, I don’t feel the same.”

11. “It’s that I’m not interested in continuing this any further.”

12. “This week I just got a promotion and I want to focus on my work”

13. “I want to prioritize my friendships”.

14. “It’s not that I don’t care about you, but I see you more as a friend than something more.”

15.“This isn’t going anywhere. You didn’t do anything wrong, it is just not going to work out. I don’t feel any connection to you. I’m sorry. ”

16. Our perspectives are different and I don’t think we can be more than just acquaintances at this point.”

17. “We don’t have much in common and I’d rather move on.”

18. “The way we think is different and I’d rather find friends I have more in common with.”

19. “I’m focusing on personal commitments more than dating right now.”

20. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to date someone at work.”

21. Thanks for the compliments but I’m not interested in more than being co-workers.”

22. “I don’t want you to contact me anymore”

23. “I’m not feeling the same way.”

24. “What you said makes me uncomfortable. I want to keep our relationship professional.”

25. “I don’t like you the same way. I’d like to try to be friends, however, I can’t give you the same relationship you want.”

26. “I feel this friendship isn’t right for me and I need space for now”.

27. “You’re an amazing person but I’m not interested in taking things further”.

28. “Let’s be friends”

29.“I need time alone” is perfectly valid.”

30. “Hey I think you’re great, but the chemistry just isn’t there”.

31.“I think you are a wonderful person, but I don’t feel any attraction for you. I’m sorry.”

32. “I’m not interested in dating right now.”

33. “‘I don’t have feelings for you.”.

34. “No thank you”

35. “I would but I’ve been talking to someone for a few weeks and it wouldn’t be fair to either of you.”

36. “Oh I’m not interested. But I appreciate the ask.”

37. “Over time our interests seem to have taken us in different directions. I will always treasure the friendship we shared, but I want to move on.”

38. “Things have changed for me…”

39. “My interests have shifted in the past few years and I just feel like we’ve drifted apart.”

40. “I have to be honest and put myself first and not continue this friendship.”

41. “Due to the recent conflict between us, I’m choosing to end this friendship.”

42. “I feel like this friendship isn’t healthy for me anymore. I need to end the friendship”

43.“I want to be completely transparent. I’ve been feeling angry since we had that conflict last week. I can no longer engage in this friendship.”

44. “I need space from our friendship.”

45. “I haven’t heard from you in forever and it’s really hurt me. I’m not interested in meeting.”

46.“We’ve both grown so much, but not together I’ll treasure our friendship.”

47. “I’ve done some self-reflecting and I think stepping back away from our friendship is best.”

48. “I care about you but being in this relationship is not something I’m able to focus on right now.”

49. “I feel like you don’t value me as a friend. I don’t want to continue our friendship”

50. “I’ve tried to have this conversation with you many times. But it’s clear we have different perspectives now. I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

51. “I’ve been feeling [insert feeling] when you do [insert thing they do], and I want to move on from our friendship.”

52. “I’m sorry but I’m more interested in working on myself right now. At this time I’m not interested.”

53. “Our values are too different, and I don’t think we can be friends.”

54. “I don’t think we’re compatible enough to be more than friends.”

55. “I appreciate you asking to hang out, but I am not feeling comfortable doing that. I feel our beliefs are too different. Thanks though.”

56. “I’m not feeling the same way you are. I’d like to stay friends though.”

Bonus: Telling someone you don’t like them: 11 tips

#1. Be direct when telling someone you don’t like them

If you don’t like someone, it can be difficult to be direct with them. Understanding how to get someone to leave you alone is not easy. However, it is important, to be honest, and clear with people, even if you don’t necessarily like them.

Try to be respectful and calm when communicating with this person, and avoid being confrontational or argumentative. Instead, focus on expressing your own needs and feelings, and be direct about what you want or expect from the other person.

#2. Tell them you’re not interested. Bye!!

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as the best way to tell someone you’re not interested in them will vary depending on the situation and relationship between you and the other person.

However, some tips on how to tell someone you’re not interested in them in a respectful and clear way include being honest about your feelings, expressing your needs and boundaries, and being direct in your communication.

#3. Avoiding someone can sometimes work …

The best way to avoid someone you don’t want to hang out with is, to be honest with them and explain that you’re not interested in spending time with them. You can also try to avoid them by staying busy and avoiding places where you know they’ll be.

We get it, understanding how to get someone to leave you alone is not easy. However, setting boundaries and making it clear that you don’t want to be friends or have a certain relationship with someone is important. If avoidance doesn’t give someone a message, try to be polite and direct. Or, see the additional suggestions below.

#4. Send a text message expressing how you feel

There is no easy way to reject someone, learning how to get someone to leave you alone is hard. But it’s important, to be honest, and kind. Thank the person for their interest, and let them know that you are not interested in dating them or being friends.

Be assertive and firm in your rejection, and a “Hey there! This weekend was really fun. To be honest, though, I’m not really feeling a spark. I hope you can understand, and I really wish you all the best.”

“[Person’s name], I think you’re a great person. I’m not feeling a connection here.”

Move away from an ‘I am rejecting you’ mindset to embrace a ‘we’re not a good match mindset,” says Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist. “On a neurolinguistic level, we tend to feel negative and guilty if we reject someone. However, if we switch to a ‘we’re not a good match mindset, we neutralize the guilt and negativity.”

Think of it this way: At a minimum, a good match involves two people who are both really excited about each other. If that’s not where you’re at, it’s in both people’s best interests to move on. And at the end of the day, you don’t owe anyone your time or attention, no matter what.

Finding a way to tell someone you don’t like them anymore is difficult and there is no perfect way to do this.

#5 Use simple answers if they ask why

One way to turn someone down is to give them a simple, direct answer to a request for a date or your number. The direct approach can be good because you don’t leave them hanging and because you don’t leave room for ambivalence, so they can move on to someone else.

For example, you could use the line:

“I appreciate you asking, but no thanks.”

You could also say, “No, I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”

Be sure to make the “no” part of your answer so you are very clear.

#6 You can be indirect about how you feel

If you don’t want to flat-out reject someone, you can answer in an indirect way. One way is to start out with a compliment about the person but still end with a rejection.

For instance, you could note, “You seem like a good person, but I don’t want to date anyone right now, so no thank you. Appreciate the kind words.”

#7 Try an avoidance tactic … Duck, dodge and dip

Another option is using an avoidance tactic. In other words, you dodge the request by using a decoy of some sort to not respond directly, such as giving a fake number to the person so they don’t know you’re rejecting them.

To give out a fake number, you can just make up a number, but make sure it’s not someone else’s number. Also, this tactic can backfire if the person tries to call it or sees you again sometime. If you work with this person it’s probably best to be more sensitive so there’s no awkwardness or tension for you.

Another option is to say you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. You can also use a friend as a pretend significant other; however, if you use this tactic, you may drive off other people, which can be a problem if you are trying to meet people.

#8 Ask to remain friends but nothing more

Beverley Andre, a licensed marriage, and family therapist, recommends following up with a message asking if they’d like to remain friends.

Send a text that says, “I enjoyed getting to know you, and would love to continue on as friends.” Of course, the other person has every right in the world to request space to get over their feelings or to express that a friendship would make them kind of uncomfortable.

#9 Be sensitive and don’t ghost them

It’s always easier to simply disappear and spare yourself a potentially awkward text conversation than, to be honest. But think about all the times you’ve been ghosted, and do the other person the favor of ending things once and for all, in a kind and honest way.

If the person asks for a reason, you can just say you didn’t feel a connection. They cannot argue with that. It’s really hard to argue with that.

Almost anything is better than nothing. “It was lovely meeting you, but I don’t think we’re a good fit. Best of luck.” Or, if this is a friend you met, you can say, “Hey, I’m sorry but I’m not feeling that our relationship is healthy and need space.”

#10 Be honest but be sensitive with feelings

If you don’t like someone romantically or in general, you have to tell them clearly or they’ll find any type of hope in a wishy-washy explanation. Although such statements may seem harsh you can communicate clearly without being mean. You can learn how to get someone to leave you alone in a mature and polite way.

First, when you say, “I don’t think we can” or “I can’t” you give a passive message with an unclear motivation. This leaves open the possibility that a fixable problem exists that can be solved.

Next, you can say “I’m not interested”, however, you make your feelings clear. They can still ask why, but so long as you continue to make definitive statements they can’t do much to change the reality you present. Of course, simply stating, “I don’t want a relationship with you” or “I’m not interested in you romantically” comes off a little harsh.

You don’t want to hurt people but you can’t get around this uncomfortable situation. That said, the pain will heal faster if you don’t leave any room for interpretation and let them know they need to move on. You want to give closure if you can. Also, be kind, be direct. In the end, it’s better for everyone.

#11. Use the “fade out” method

Gradually seeing the person less and less often is a less dramatic way and easy method to use. Naturally, you can do this or you might need to consciously apply this method. This is a good way to let someone know you don’t want to be friends without verbally explaining it to them.

This method is appropriate for casual friends who you don’t really know well. But, it’s a great way to move on from people you aren’t very interested in.

What you can do right now?

Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more) Prepare more when you go out to socialize. We think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “how to get someone to leave you alone?” Or, “How to tell someone you don’t like them as a friend?”

But, you’ll feel more confident, and prepared and you’ll know what to do next, especially, when it comes to telling someone how you feel.