Ever think, “Why does my mind go blank when I talk?”
We’ve all walked into a room looking to meet new people and make friends. But once you say hello and offer a quick introduction, your mind goes blank. Completely black.
You start to wonder, “Why does my mind go blank?” “Why does my mind go blank when I talk?”
You start sweating and your stomach starts to squeeze. You run to the nearest corner and have no idea what happened. You don’t know what to say! You don’t know what to do! You don’t know where to go!
The mind plays tricks on you sometimes and you have no idea why.
However, below, we talk about 5 main reasons we think your mind goes blank when you talk.
Let’s get into the reasons!
The 5 reasons you say, “why does my mind go blank when I talk?”
The main reason why your mind goes blank when you talk is…
The crude and mean animal called fear and anxiety ate you for dinner and spit you out.
There is no other feeling that makes you feel small, embarrassed, and nervous than anxiety does.
If you’re feeling nervous or don’t know what to say during a conversation then you’re not alone and we certainly want to help you. You may want to check out our free tools here.
Sometimes the best way to understand why this happens is to become aware.
Here’s a list of the 5 reasons.
If you’re having some trouble talking with people it might be because you:
1. Feel judged
2. Feeling afraid
3. Have too many thoughts rushing in your head
4. Feel overwhelmed
5. Lose track of the conversation
The freeze response occurs when your mind goes blank.
If you’re feeling any of the above 5 reasons, you might be reacting to the fight-flight-freeze reaction. It’s a rapid-fire, automatic, body response we go through when we are in “danger”, or your mind thinks you’re in danger.
Your brain is panicking under pressure. Your brain and body are overruling “slower, more reasoned thought” when it perceives you’re in a dangerous situation so that you can react quickly and get out of harm’s way.
Most of the time you’re not in a dangerous situation when this happens. Most times it’s a stressful but safe moments such as…
When your boss asked you a question and you don’t know what to say. Or …
When someone you’re romantically interested in finally talks to you. Then, your mind goes blank. This is the freeze response.
If you’ve gone through this, you can manage it or even overcome it with some solutions and easy tips. We believe you have the ability to think clearly when having conversations without your mind going blank.
So, how can you talk to people even if you don’t know what to say and your mind goes blank? We talk about it below.
Here are 7 solutions to help your mind from going blank
#1 Meditation can be very helpful to reduce anxiety or nervousness.
If you’re anxious, tense, or worried, try meditation. Spending even a few minutes a day meditating can help calm your nerves.
Anyone can practice meditation because it’s guided, simple, and inexpensive. Practice meditation when out for a walk, at lunch, and even in the middle of a difficult work meeting.
#2. Practicing positive thinking and changing your mindset
Changing your mindset and becoming more positive about social interaction can take your social skills to the next level. This is something we talk a lot about in our free tool guide here.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.”
#3. To reduce the chance of your mind going blank you can practice and prepare conversation starters.
A thoughtful conversation starter can change the direction of a discussion within seconds, taking your conversation game to a new level. It can be the difference between going on a second date with a romantic partner or and being liked at work.
That’s why it’s important to have a variety of conversation starters ready to go! It will help you form connections with co-workers, customers, partners, or anyone you meet at a social event more easily than you are now.
The ability to start a conversation translates to more opportunities and more meaningful relationships in your life. It’s a game-changer.
#4. Practice and Prepare before being social
Before a conversation starts, think about what you’re going to say to the potential person you’ll be conversating with. Social interaction is easier and can help reduce anxiety, and make you more confident if you prepare.
This is the most impactful conversation tactic you can use in every conversation is asking open-ended questions. A broad question typically generates far more engaging answers than a yes or no question.
Here are more examples if you want to learn how to keep the conversation flowing and open-ended questions.
#5. Go to social events where you feel comfortable being at
A question you should always be asking yourself is, “where’s the best place to meet people?” Or, “Where do I thrive the most?”
Don’t drag yourself to places you think will be depressing or drain you of energy. Socializing should be fun and enjoyable. If you feel positive towards the social event your mind will go blank much less.
#6. Have a couple general conversation starters memorized
If you know your mind might go blank, always have a few conversation starters memorized ready to go. Keep these general so you can ask anyone at any time.
Below are a few examples you can use to start conversations more easily. Feel free to tailor the examples to what you think will best fit your conversation:
“Hey, I’m John, it’s great to meet you. What a great happy hour! Who do you know here?
“Hey, Jess, great to see you here! What do you think of this event so far?”
“I love your shoes. Do you mind sharing where you got them?”
“Your lunch looks and smells delicious. How did you make it?”
“Beautiful weather, isn’t it? What are your plans for this beautiful day?”
The above examples will help you think of ideas on how to begin or alter the start of your conversations. Remember to make it a habit to practice daily. If you say almost anything with confidence, you’ll be able to create and start a conversation easier than you think.
#7. Get professional help if it feels serious
Now, take a few moments to think about what your dominant thoughts are. If they’re mainly negative, maybe you need to work on self-talk.
Also, seek professional help if you think you need more guidance on anxiety.
Take your learning to a new level. Take a course.
You have nothing to lose. Improving your social skills is probably one of the most important anyone can do to improve their life.
Reflect on this >> Knowing how to socialize at any level is significant and can dramatically be the differentiator when it comes to interviewing for a job or meeting a romantic partner.
We have a course we think you’d learn a lot from, called Next Level Conversation. Check it out here. Read the testimonials and what the course involves. And, it’s affordable.
Join our community for free tips. This is a no-brainer!
This is easy and because it’s free. You get a ton of free materials and guides by joining here. Here’s what you’ll get if you join our community:
- Our cheat sheet includes a 16-page guide on becoming socially confident
- Mini-course on how to have good conversations
- A quiz on how good your conversations
- Free tips and methods on how to best approach social situations and much more …
- No more “My social skills keep getting worse”
Summary on “why does my mind go blank when I talk?”
- Adopt a more positive mindset.
- Your fear and anxiety might be caused by the flight-fight-freeze response.
- Use exercise and meditation to lower your anxiety.
- Prepare conversation starters before social events and know your audience.
- Use open-ended questions, find things in common, be random and talk about fun facts.
- Have as much fun as you can. You got this!
- Join our community!
What you can do right now?
If you feel like your social skills keep getting worse, talk to a close friend or a professional counselor about the feelings you have.
Or, you can prepare more when you go out to socialize. Joining our community and Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more)
Check out our course, Next Level Conversation.
We think if you join our community, take our course, or just read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “why does my mind go blank when I talk”. But you’ll feel more confident and know what to say.