“I used to be social now I’m awkward” 5 reasons and how to improve
Feeling like your social interactions are awkward can be exhausting. There are plenty of moments why all of a sudden your social skills have diminished. The overwhelming feelings might cause confusion, sadness, and embarrassment.
But this is normal and happens to a lot of people. What you need to do is be aware of the “Why is this happening right now”.
That’s why we created this quick post about how you might have felt like socializing was easy and fun, but it’s turned into an awkward mess.
We have 5 reasons why this might be happening and how you can improve.
#1. Changes in your life can make socializing awkward
One of the main reasons you feel you’ve changed socially is because of some things that have happened or are happening in your life right now.
A lot of big changes have happened in society in the past few years and they will continue to. This can cause you to feel things you haven’t felt or keep you in a constant state of an emotional whirlwind. This will make you feel overwhelmed at social events or what you think is “Awkward”.
If you’re not used to being out to social events recently, or you had a recent breakup, job change, or you moved to a new city, socializing can get difficult. You might not know where to start and you’ll say, “I used to be social now I’m awkward.”
Recent changes can force you to take a step back in many ways such as socializing. It’s normal to feel hesitant to want to talk with people if you’re uncomfortable or unsure how to manage a situation.
#2 You might be an introvert. Sometimes that’s awkward, but that’s OK
A few signs you’re an introvert:
- Enjoying time alone
- Steering clear of others
- Not being able to explain your thoughts clearly
- Enjoying low key social events
The above points may indicate you’re an introvert which you might be confused for being awkward and you’re saying, “I used to be social now I’m awkward”.
Also, if you suggest “laid back” things to do on the weekend, like watching a movie at home, reading a book, or hanging out just with one friend, there’s a good chance you’re an introvert.
However, be aware the above points indicate introversion, it can also mean, social anxiety, especially you’ve had panic attacks or fearful thoughts. A lot of people also struggle to put their thoughts into words because introverts are said to rely more on long-term memory than short-term memory. Extroverts may do the opposite.
#3. Anxiety might be holding you back more than you think
If you have anxiety you think may cripple you when you socialize, that can be very difficult to deal with on your own. Check out how you can help yourself here or talk to a professional.
Some people who have serious anxiety may feel afraid to leave the house, much less get a socialize. If this is you, get some help!
Also, anxiety can make you feel extreme worry, which can affect a person’s self-esteem, causing a lack of confidence. Feeling like you’re not good enough can lead people to hide in the a, try corner. Any potential criticism from others might punch you down causing more withdrawal, pushing you into a vicious cycle.
Here are some tools you can use to feel better.
Lastly, maybe you’re feeling burnt out or bored of socializing. Some people even feel like they hate being social. Read our post about it here.
#4. Your old social tricks aren’t working anymore
If you’ve been out with new friends or different co-workers or you’ve moved to a new city and you’re feeling awkward, then maybe the social strategies you’ve used in the past don’t work.
As we reach different parts of our life our scene will change and how people want to interact also changes.
Maybe the type of conversation you’re interested in isn’t with the people you’ve always socialized with. Or, you’ve never had to small talk before or it’s challenging to start a conversation because you grew up with the people you’ve always hung out with.
This is all normal and something you can easily adapt to. You can sign up for our free tool kit here. You get strategies and plenty of examples. Check it out.
Lastly, one of the things that can shift your social life is where you do it. A lot of people are networking or trying to find friends in the wrong places. Check out more tips here on what you can do to meet people.
#5. You haven’t found the right social circle yet
Science of People says, “The more commonalities you have, the more relevant someone is to you. In a great relationship, the circles move closer together.” Image by Science of People.
There are a few things you might be feeling here. You’re either feeling, like you haven’t found the right people to hang out with or it’s the opposite, “I hate my social circle”.
If you haven’t met people you click with yet, that’s normal and ok. You’ll make it happen. One of the things you can do is find an activity you like and consistently go. In time, you’ll meet people you’re compatible with.
However, if you hate your social circle, it’s probably a good time to break up with those people. Friend breakups are more common than you think. If someone is toxic, isn’t a positive influence, or you’ve just outgrown the relationship, then it’s time to move on or just meet more people on your level.
A few signs you need new friends:
- You always feel bad about yourself
- The effort is one-sided
- They’re always negative
- You’re never sure where you stand
For more ideas on how to meet people without it being awkward, check out our post here.
What you can do right now?
If you feel like your social skills keep getting worse, talk to a close friend or a professional counselor about the feelings you have.
Or, you can prepare more when you go out to socialize. Joining our community and Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social toolkit, and more)
Check out our course, Next Level Conversation.
We think if you join our community, or just read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “I hate socializing”. But you’ll feel more confident and know what to say.
We hope after reading this post you feel more aware of why you think, “I used to be social now I’m awkward”.
You got this!