“I hate meeting new people”
I hate meeting new people. “I used to love spending time with friends and would always be the one to suggest get-togethers. I’d also always be the one who was excited to see everyone. But lately, I’ve been feeling like I hate meeting people and have no desire to be around anyone. I don’t feel like going out and I don’t feel like seeing anyone.”
Do you feel this way?
You may not be sure why this is happening, but it’s been going on for a while now. You’ll go a few days where you’ll be fine and then have a day where you just don’t want to be around anyone. You’ll cancel plans or just won’t show up.
You’re not the only one who has been feeling this way. A lot of people seem to be struggling with social media and with interacting with people in general. It could be because we’re all so connected that it’s hard to disconnect. We’re always seeing what everyone is doing and it’s hard to not feel like you’re missing out.
Maybe the key is to find a way to connect with people on your own terms and that doesn’t involve me feeling like you’re obligated to.
But let’s talk about the reasons you’re feeling this way. If you’re more self-aware, you’ll have a better understanding of how to move forward and learn to be around people.
Let’s jump into the 5 main reasons you say, “I hate meeting new people.”
#1. Depression causes lack of desire to be around people
“I was sitting in my room, staring at the wall. I didn’t want to be around anyone. I was depressed and I didn’t know what to do. I had been like this for weeks. I didn’t want to eat or drink. I just wanted to sit in my room and stare at the wall.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to see anyone. I just wanted to be alone. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I had never been this depressed before. I had never felt this way. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to make it stop. I just wanted to be alone.”
You’re not alone if you’re depressed.
“I was sitting in my room, staring at the wall, when my mom came in.
“Honey, are you okay?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how to make it stop.”
“It’s going to be okay,” she said. “I’m here for you. I’ll help you get through this.”
She hugged me and I hugged her back. I felt better knowing that she was there for me. I knew that I wasn’t alone. I knew that I could get through this.”
Symptoms of depression:
- Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
- Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
- Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies, or sports
- Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
- Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
Are you feeling depressed?
If you think you have depression and you feel crippled when trying to socialize, this can be the cause of you feeling like “I hate meeting new people ”.
This can be very difficult to deal with on your own so talk to a doctor or seek a therapist.
#2. Anxiety can hold you back from making friends
I was sitting in my chair, my hands clasped together as I stared at the door. I was waiting for my anxiety to show up. I knew it would sooner or later, and I was ready for it. I had been dealing with anxiety for as long as I could remember, and I had learned how to handle it.
I waited and waited, but it never came. I was confused and a little disappointed. I had been expecting my anxiety to show up, but it never did. I was left feeling alone and scared.
I tried to push the feeling away, but it was hard. I felt like I was being swallowed up by the darkness. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. I was trapped in my own mind, and I didn’t know how to escape.
Suddenly, I heard a voice in my head. It was my anxiety, and it was telling me that I was worthless. It was telling me that I was a failure and that I would never be good enough.
I tried to fight back, but it was hard. The voice was so strong, and it was telling me that I was a mistake. I wanted to believe it, but I couldn’t. I knew that I was worth something, and I refused to let my anxiety tell me otherwise.
I took a deep breath and pushed the voice away. I refused to let it control me, and I refused to let it win. I was stronger than that, and I was going to fight back.
Making new friends can be difficult for people with social anxiety.
But, when social anxiety is intense and persistent, it becomes social anxiety disorder (SAD).
If you have anxiety and you feel crippled when trying to socialize, this can be the cause of hating new people. This can be very difficult to deal with on your own so talk to a doctor or seek a therapist.
Also, anxiety can cause a high amount of worry, which can affect a person’s confidence, leading to fewer friends.
Anxiety could be the reason you’re saying “I hate meeting new people.” But in reality, you’re a great person and just need to start taking steps to move forward with the challenge of social fears or deeper issues.
#3. You’re an introvert who struggles around people
Some people are outgoing while others choose to keep to themselves. If you’re an introvert, socializing can be draining. There may be many days you’re overwhelmed by socializing too much and don’t have time to re-charge.
Social events for introverts can be uncomfortable because on-the-spot communication is hard to do. Introverts take more time to process what they want to say in most situations such as meetings, interviews, and casual conversations.
#4. You enjoy being alone and that’s important to know
Being alone can feel good.
And we agree it can be draining if you’re always connecting with other people. If you’re alone, you can take time for yourself away from the job of socializing.
Also, you might be making many compromises and don’t realize it. Sometimes when we’re around others we might compromise our plans or comfort. So, a nice night or weekend to yourself might be all you need.
#5. You’ve had bad past social experiences
Having bad social experiences can scare you from socializing more.
Maybe you’ve had clingy friends or someone took advantage of you. Or, maybe you’re scared of being judged and rejected. Whatever might have happened, socializing means allowing people to get to know you as a person and opening up.
Allowing people to into your world can be scary because you don’t them to reject you or experience the same past trauma.
“I was at a party and I saw this really cute guy. I walked up to him and started talking to him, but I could tell he wasn’t interested. He was just being polite. I felt really embarrassed and I left the party. You may feel embarrassed, but don’t let that stop you from talking to people. If you see a guy you like, walk up to him and start a conversation. He may not be interested, but that’s OK. Just be polite and move on.”
What you can do right now
Download our Tool Kit for free (mini-course, social blueprint, and more). Prepare more when you go out to socialize or talk to a professional. We think if you join our community or read a few more blog posts, you won’t be saying, “I hate meeting new people!”
But you’ll feel more confident, and prepared and you’ll know what to do next, especially, when it comes to socializing.